Mr. Hyde's Inferno

M C Escher

"Balance Factor"

Be warned that this site is pretty crude. Please leave if you are easily offended.

Ooi!! Ho seh bo? you must have seen my flen's jekyll's page then u know this page rite ? jekyll is my best flen you low. allyway, tis page veli simple wan lah, my cumpooter skills no good lah, cumpooter blind lah or blinded by cumpooter, whatever lah. plse or psle elucation onli. Not like jekyll got the dunno what my-mama or your-ah-mah cert. but I still lun unlerstand why he wanna become a bachelor onli for the past 3 years...err...part time somemore.

MY DREAMS 1

Eh, you know har, i got a dream, i wanna open beauty salon. turning flawed people into beatiful ones. that marie france's evertisement inspired me leh.

wah lao eh. tat who ah....christy chung ah..veli sexy man. bo beh chao! but i no money, cannot afford celebity. maybe i ask my ah lian flen help me soot the ad. i even got my script ready. wanna hear or not ? here lah :

[music]......change it......[chao ah lian enters]

[narration] eh, if you lun like wat you see in ler millor, break it lah! I also bleak my millor .or cum to mali flanc beasty slimy cancer....err..center...we make you become chio bu ah! Let ler slimy prostitute err...plofessionals help ya.

ho seh lah! .....dream on! siao!

MY DREAMS 2

aiyah. lun soot slimy center ad, can soot bra ad mah. how about this -------> (inspired by tat cow's bird ad)

[music]

IF i were to be the sea, i will be pachific ocean, If i were to be a chio bu, i will be christy chung, if i were to be a bra, i will not be A,b,c,d,e size cup bra. I wanna be a WORLD CUP size BRa........... DUH!!!

wah seh. world cup bra no fight ah.

achery i wanna find tat babe pamela anderson to soot one, but her world cup size neh neh lau hong liao ah. also lunno why she go and pang hong. siao char bo. litern to innocence meh ?

Dirty jokes

i think hor, wanna tell jokes must be crude lah. if not where got funni ? tio boh ?

got one time, my steady leave me, wah lao eh ..veli sad.she say i too kinky. so i went to zoo...wat tat place zork or zook?, i saw a girl, veli chio man. she also sian sian down there. so i asked her, "hi why sian sian?" she said her bf left her cuz she too kinky.

"wah! ho seh liao!" i thought to mysell. she kinky i also kinky, got same same hobby leh. so she asked me wanna go her house .....wah!! mai tu liao!!

at her place, she said she wanna change into somethin more comfortable like lubber bra, leather mini skirt and stokings, with handcuffs somemore. wah...buay tahan.

when she came out, i told her i was goin off. why the hurry you ask ? cuz i fucked her dog and shit in her purse while she changing. Am i kinky or wat ?????

u look , if no "fucked" and "shit" where got funni ? instead if you use "i had sexual relationship with your dog and have a bowel movement in your wallet" sounds more funny ah. got difflence.

Allyway, tat was a tasteless joke.

After I fucked the dog and shit, I went to take the MRT

on the mrt. I heard this kid tellin' his mama he buay tahan wanna pee. his mama said reachin house aleadi, ask him to tahan. the kid suggested "mama, i put my gu gu bird in your mouth to wee wee lah "

poor little kid, kenna hantum by his mother "dun tok rubbish!!!"

the kid crying down there... shouting " why daddy can put his cock in your mouth, why i cannot ah ?????

[edited from a joke mail]

Why is the above picture name "balance factor" about? (it was name by me anyway, the real name is heaven and earth) Look carefully at the picture, can you see devils and angels together? What does it symbolise? Do I have to tell ya everythin?? go think for yourself!!

Pubic chervice 21

you know har, One thing I veli tu lan. elytime I called ler govt agencies, wait damned bloody long for reply, sometimes no lesponse somemore.

ler classic lecolding

" thank you for calling the xxx service center. all of our customer service officers are busy at the moment. please hold, we will attend to you shortly. [music] "

lunno i suay or wat, always hearing tat phrase elytime i called. wat the fuck they define chervice as ?? oh yea!! guess they call it the pubic chervice bun luck (blackjack).

Pai kia

Anoler thing I see aleadi veli buay song!! Who tat one har who goes around bomb people ?? licently bomb ler chinese embassy , adolf clinton or bill hitler? lat one lah, cannot be prosecuted cuz monica swallowed the evidence...

he think he pai kia ah ? buay song one to one come here tok lah! wah piang, he think he big blother, see who buay song then bomb woo. tell him ah, mai ga lim pei pway play, wanna play put number put place lah. lat si kia lunno big lunno small. one lay he sure kenna flom my dog. bite off his dumbstick then monica gonna miss it.

wah...i think he also veli kaypo, people bitchyness he also wanna chup. he think he the super world cop. tell me about err...human rights ? buay pai eh ? i also know human rights leh becos i have mine!!! argh. say him i veli pek chek. lun say liao lah.

lat son of a bitch, it's like he fucked your wife and tell you, "eh, pai seh hor, i thought i fucked your sister too.. " .bloody ashold, playin fire wif fire...

alimer abooze (May 99)

I lun leally see any joy in circus act. i lun feel amused seeing them perform. i link lat ler licent alimer abuze in india's circus is veli cruel.

havin alimers perform stunts for us and the trainer gets all the credits ?? shit!! seeing the trainer bowin' to the aulience after each act realy disgust me. give some credits to the animals man!! it's like clapping fer joe satriani after hearing kirk hammett's guitar concert.

[kirk hammett is joe satriani's student]

i tink i prefer a stunning cunt than a cunning stunt.

Speed limit (Jun 99)

The TP just announced ler installation of the speed limit device on heavy weight vehicles. I wondered what kinda relationship is the TP tryin to build wif fellow citizens when people are practising civil disobedience everyday. While travelling on the road recently, saw a long stretch of 50km/hr type vehicles moving the the leftmost lane, made me wonder. If everyone really obey the rules of traveling at limited speed, the whole of singapore is gonna jam like hell everyday!

logistics speaking, if prime movers gonna move at 50km/hr, it's not productive and efficient at all. imagine the containers gonna reach the port at a certain time but was delayed due to speed limit. just-in-time logistics application will not work in this case Additionally, it's lesser money they are gonna earn with decrease in round trips. I believe logistics operations will retard due to this policy. the same applies all to others who really need to speed to get work done. It's a matter of control.

Bouncing breasts (Jul 99)

Lecently, i witnessed a vely funny scene on the bus. While i was taking tibs bus no. 852, 3 scgs girls boarded the bus. they were sitting at the seats facing each other (those at the rear) While they were tokin, on girl suddenly stopped and observing her mate's chest area, and then lookin' at her own, she did that fer a couple of times. and she gave the kinda wink to her mate . I perceived that she's tryin to tell her that their breasts are bouncing while the bus was movin'. hahahahaha!!! really amusing! i mean wat the hell ?? but i must say that those girls are really pretty and developed. am i lascivious or what?

[to be continued]